


Reason to Survive

by rockwell_psycho



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Reader-Insert, Romance, Self-Doubt, Sleep Deprivation, Tender Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockwell_psycho/pseuds/rockwell_psycho
Summary: It’s an AU where Shane survived and made it to the prison with the others. The reader is afraid to fall in love. However it might have happened against her will because it’s night already and the fact that Shane haven’t come back from his supply run bothers her a lot and doesn’t let her sleep…





	Reason to Survive

You sat up in bed abruptly, feeling sick of tossing and turning without any single hint of sleep. A glance at your watch. 2 a.m. He still wasn’t there. You would have heard if they returned. Even if for some reason you wouldn’t, you were sure Shane would knock at your door frame to say goodnight before heading to his cell not far from yours.

But he wasn’t there. Him, Michonne and a couple of other guys from the group went for a supply run this afternoon and weren’t back yet. You hated how much it bothered you.

You didn’t want to get too close with Shane… Well, basically you didn’t want to get too close with anyone. You had already lost enough of your loved ones and had already been through enough pain in your life. Being on your own felt easier in a way. You told it to Shane with all honesty as you realized he started getting attracted to you. He seemed to understand and respect it. He never pushed on you, but kept being friendly and protective. He liked you, and you liked him too, obviously. There was just some kind of a barrier that didn’t let you allow him get any closer.

However you didn’t experience just friendship vibes. There was physical attraction between the two of you as well. And you weren’t surprised when one day his visit to your cell to borrow some of your books ended up with sex. It wasn’t romantic at all, but you never felt ashamed about it. It felt pretty natural and you both just needed this release. Of course you would never do that with just some random guy no matter how sexually frustrated you were… But Shane wasn’t just a random guy. You trusted each other and you felt good and safe in his arms. He went back to his cell afterwards without any protests and you didn’t know if it ever happens again.

It _did_  happen again. And again. You and Shane developed some kind of a friends with benefits relationship. You weren’t together officially, but people in the group knew there was something between you and him. You didn’t care. You were both adult people and didn’t have to apologize for any of your actions. Still you never show any kind of affection in public. You still were afraid of getting too close, too attached.

Probably it happened against your will.

You’ve been trying to convince yourself you didn’t care much of Shane, that he was just a nice guy and you just had nice sex and that’s all. It didn’t quite work, because apparently you cared. You cared so much you just couldn’t sleep right now knowing that he’s not there. You tried not to think of it, but you already knew that if you wouldn’t see him again - it would break your heart into pieces.

Feeling you couldn’t stay in bed any longer, you got up to get downstairs to drink some water.

Even though you knew you would hear him coming, you still stopped at his cell for a second. No, of course he wasn’t there, but you just had to check. Silly y/n.

Reaching the first floor you found the bottles of water, grabbed one and sat at the table to drink. As the door opened, your heart almost dropped, but it was just Rick coming back from his watch. He nodded at you and you nodded back, attempting to smile politely.

\- Can’t sleep? - He asked, approaching and grabbing the water as well.

\- Kinda, - you replied.

\- I know this feeling. Actually I’m a bit worried too. But hey, you don’t have to… Because, you know, Shane’s a tough guy, he’s gonna be okay. I know him. As long as he has a  _reason to survive_ , I’m sure he’ll be fine.

\- Reason?.. - You asked, a little baffled. He didn’t even question the fact you were here because of Shane… You never realized you were  _that_  obvious.

\- Yes, I mean… There was a really complicated period in his life… In mine as well, when Lori died, but I had people who needed me, so I had to survive. And I think Shane also got this reason when he found  _you_. The reason to start over again, you know…

\- Sorry, Rick. I don’t really think I wanna talk about it, - you stood up. - I just came here to get some water and now I’ll try to go back to sleep. Good night.

\- Good night, - Rick said in reply, his voice quiet and a little tired.

\- Hey, y/n, - you turned to his voice as you started climbing up the stairs.

\- It’s actually not a weakness to be in love with someone. It’s strength sometimes.

You didn’t know what to say to this. Just nodded, heading upstairs.

***

You fell into some kind of broken slumber only a couple of hours before your usual waking up time. Your sleep was troubled. It felt like you didn’t have any.

You got up, put on your clothes and headed outside. Shane’s cell was still empty as you walked past it.

You had to occupy your body and mind with something so you were just hanging at the gates with a stick, stabbing random walkers when familiar figures appeared in the distance. Shane walked ahead of them all. For a second you felt like you were out of breath and your heart simply sank down and forgot how to beat. Then there was the greatest relief you’ve ever felt.

As the gate opened and the people were let in you dropped the stick and rushed to Shane practically hanging on his neck. You didn’t really care that other people from the group came around and were staring at you because it was the first time you were showing your feelings that openly.

\- Hey, hey… easy, darlin’… - Shane’s voice sounded surprised, but his big arms held you tightly.

\- I was so scared you have no idea, - you whispered into his ear, burying your face into the side of his neck.

\- I know, babe, - he didn’t call you like that before… only in bed a couple of times. - But I’m here, see? Just need to bring in the supplies…

\- I’ll do it. Just go find a room already, you two, - Michonne smirked. She probably tried to sound sarcastic, but she didn’t.

***

Back into your cell you had probably the most intense lovemaking ever. You didn’t know it could be both rough and tender, but it was exactly like this. His thrusts were hard, vigorous and needy, making your body tremble, your back arch and your toes curl. But the way his deep dark brown eyes looked at you the whole time never breaking the contact, the way he cupped your cheeks and stroke your hair, the way he kissed your lips, your eyelids and everything he could reach made you melt completely. Your heart was so full of tenderness as he kept whispering into your ear in that hoarse voice of his that always made you weak, holding you as close as possible:  _“You’re so beautiful, y/n”_ ,  _“Just like that, baby girl, I got you”_ … And with his final  _“I love you so damn much”_  your core exploded with pleasure. You clung to him, ragged moans escaping your lips as your walls fluttered and clenched, your body shivering at the sensation. He pulled out, coming over your belly and collapsed on top of you, neither of you caring about the mess. As he managed to calm his breath a bit, Shane lifted himself on his elbows to look you in the eye.

\- Hey.

His fingers ran through your hair, removing damp strands from your face. It was hot, but you just wanted to feel him close. He placed gentle kisses on your upper and lower lips and smiled contently.

\- You okay y/n?

\- Yeah… I feel much better, - you smiled back. – And Shane… I have a suggestion.

He gave you a questioned look, frowning slightly.

\- How about you moving into my cell? - You asked.

Shane’s smile grew wider and he chuckled softly.

\- Why are you laughing? It’s a serious decision!

\- I know… - He caressed your cheek with his fingertips. - Just thought you’d never ask. Y/n… - He sighed, pressing his forehead to yours. - The whole last night hiding from the walkers, I’ve been thinking of you. Believe it or not.

\- I do believe you, - you whispered.

\- And I really love you so damn much, I mean… It’s not just bullshit people moan in bed when they’re about to come… That’s for real…

\- I know that, - you replied, kissing the tip of his big crooked nose. - And I love you too.

You were surprised how easily these words slipped from your tongue. You thought it would be way harder. But as he smiled at you the way that made you wanna kiss every little wrinkle in the corners of his eyes, you knew it was the only right phrase to say.

-  _“I love you so damn much…”_  – You repeated his words, - God, Shane… You’re so romantic!

You both laughed at this, snuggling to each other.

\- You know what… Sometimes it’s a good thing to spend the night in the woods with walkers around you, to come back to this… - Shane chuckled mischievously.

\- No way. Don’t you ever scare me like that again, or I…

Your rant was muffled with his lips and tongue. Not that you mind it.


End file.
